Tuesday, August 4, 2009
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Yet another day that passes, always the same.
And I'm not able to do without you.
Laugh if you like, making fun of me.
From your position look at me and laugh.
I can not fill the emptiness of these hours
I can not even out of my head
recorded the response of the answering machine.
I read some conversations of the past,
some messages, some letters, I saw how
was nice to be loved by you every day.
And now are nothing more than memory.
's all over, you know, but I can not do with
a reason. And I continue to struggle in vain.
Wasting my strength to no avail.
And I do it for love and for suffering.
But nothing changes. He stood there, alone.
Or maybe not, I can not know more.
I would eat those words
bites and throw up everything and then pull the
flush and wipe out everything.
no longer anything to you ... Almost
barely existed just because they are
that I like a ghost, I still follow you.
God. ... That pain of my life
Monday, August 3, 2009
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"what are you doing?"
"I'm looking for."
"how are you looking for?"
"yes.'m Looking for"
"ok... e che cosa stai cercando?"
"te. sto cercando te che mi stringevi,
te che mi volevi sempre vicina,
te che mi facevi le sorprese,
che avevi occhi solo per me,
te che mi tenevi per mano,
sto cercando te che mi amavi..."
"..."
"ti ho trovato dentro di me, ma
non riesco a toccarti, né a stringerti:
lo vedi questo petto? prevents me from
to get where you are ... I know you're in
me forever, but out of me,
where are you? "
Thursday, July 30, 2009
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're on my mind
in every breath, the memory of dreams
away ... lost.
six in the blood that flows to the contrary
in the heart that trembles
eyes
who feel the weight of tears
dropping down
down.
Go. Go away.
out of me, outside
thoughts,
the words out
from my mouth.
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I wonder what are the reasons according to which
I have to stay in this situation ...
if I put everything on two
dishes of a balance, almost
'd be afraid to see that the
result hangs on a plate that
do not like and I do not want see.
I was going to say that God punished me with this love
too dull and
way. But, maybe I should just try
to grasp the gifts.
Yet, I do not see them. Fuck.
I can not see the good in
sit here and wait and
call on a phone ringing
empty now for two days.
no reason.
Why do I love?
Why do I have to love him more?
Why should I pray to be loved?
not stand it anymore I can not stand
more expectations inconclusive, tears,
the lump in his throat, lies to avoid
that people keep turning the
finger in the wound, I can not stand to see me
always happy to hide,
to wait to realize that I want
with him, which are important.
But I can not complain.
No, I can not fucking.
I chose.
I wanted to try and now I have to stay there. Even though it hurts so much, even if I would disappear hours at all. Although not much to change anything if he exist or not, if his or not.
are angry with the world, with myself and with him . They are angry and desperate. And bored. Exhausted.
But I know that cmq find the strength somewhere inside me, deep, and I know I'll stay here again with the hope that never breaks. Always, every day, always here.
And I think that will go on like this, at least until such time not have made my heart a formless mush and unable to love.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
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is simple what you do to me.
push me, over and over, up and down without stopping.
is a swing, that thing we call love.
up and down, leaving me almost breathless.
make me lose track of things,
because they are always poised
without knowing when and how will finish this game.
push me away from you and would inevitably come back
always behind, the more I get, the more you tend
arms to catch me again.
I pretend to have found peace in the warmth of that
contact with your fingers, but it is not.
smile as I just reach, but then becomes almost
a grin and your lips and your eyes
them lose that beautiful light color.
push me away, anyway.
and again I get up and down,
never be able to put one foot in the ground.
with tears streaming down my face and the
smile fool who thinks he has found happiness.
up and down and we never stop. I would but I can not.
faster, the world around us losing
shape and color, the uncertain contours, like a dream.
but there is never a happy ending. never for me.
and once again push me away ... ..
Monday, July 13, 2009
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Friday, July 10, 2009
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Thursday, July 9, 2009
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I'm not quite sure how to breathe
without you here
I'm not quite sure if I'm ready
to say goodbye to all we were
Be with me, stay with me just for now
let the time decide when I won't need you
My hand searches for your hand
in a dark room, I can't find you
Help me..are you looking for me?
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
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Monday, July 6, 2009
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Tuesday, June 30, 2009
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Dentro di me non c'è più niente.
Niente di quello che avevo scelto.
Niente di quello che avevano scelto per me.
C'è un vuoto apatico e stanco, grigio chiaro.
Ombre inutili sulle pareti della stanza,
sul cuore qualche cicatrice in più.
E fuori dalla finestra un monotono buio.
Se potessi entrare nella mia testa, forse,
potrei sapere come fare per aiutarmi.
Si è congelato qualcosa, forse le vecchie
promesse e i vecchi progetti hanno
perso la loro pelle come serpenti, e si
sono trasformati into something else.
I can not recognize them.
Whispers endless swirl in my head as
prayers of loved ones who claim
things I can not give.
E 'perhaps too much to say enough?
E 'cowardly not know what the road?
E 'foolish to continue to stand still?
Without faith, no feeling,
without words, without thoughts,
motives, ideals, values \u200b\u200b... it's stupid?
only emptiness remains in blood flow as
in my whole being, with tears shining
cleanses the last traces of doubt.
No matter what I do, where I'll
and who I will bring, what matters
and stop being a
container to be filled. Basta.
Friday, June 19, 2009
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falling on the floor mercilessly
to dry and then I face.
the heart rebels, would almost escape
but can not get out of his chest, not yet.
want you so much it hurts,
so that you are almost toxic,
harmful, wrong, cruel.
can not have you anymore.
I do not want to fight again.
got no reason.
not have a purpose.
I just sleep.
want to cry.
to disappear into thin air.
there are no more.
yes, I've lost sight of.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
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Monday, June 15, 2009
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Wednesday, June 10, 2009
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smiles but there's always that glass
Monday, January 12, 2009
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I had the audacity to believe that I would not fall.
I thought I was capable of supporting
that situation with determination and detachment,
feel just like I thought.
I have no regrets for what happened last night, or maybe you. I do not feel
an object in his hands and, even, a stupid man who had an idea
unhealthy and that led to the end.
I needed to remember how it was, as I knew
feel.
I need to see that I could
still be mistress of myself.
And so it was little or
if we want to be precise. Today
takes me an unusual sense of tranquility
mixed with something I can not discern
, but I feel it's there.
I thought I would end up losing,
but I never lost sight of the road.
Still, I've lied a little.
only to conceal, to protect me.
Because in my life, there are still a couple of blocks
who do not want to know
to go in their place, and if they are
there, mixed in with the rest of my life
, mocking me and my sense of
blame them.
But I realized that affects real
never go, where
who remain there are, as long as there is and remains
, and can not be ignored.
One can only learn to live with it,
noting that
are only part of his life, but not the present.
So today I would take
a moment of peace in the cocoon of my duvet
of
bed and reflect on this time in the past, its meaning.
only way I can swear to myself
really have found the strength to leave him behind
and finally decide to give a chance
to another person, who can probably
me forget the past and just give me a beautiful view of the
This ....